#4 Fly the 2x V, Ethan!

Fly the 2x V Ethan!

It was a warm sunny summer day, and Ethan Terry was rolling around town in his jacked up pickup truck, picking up the ladies as usual. He was listening to his favorite song “Thank God I’m a country boy”, because as you all know, Ethan is about as country as country can get.

“It's been a good 2017 so far,” Ethan thought to himself, “I haven't had to fight anybody yet.” Now Ethan always had a hot head and would frequently be seen fighting anyone he could. He mainly loses though. The only fights he ever won was when he had his trusty stick of dynamite and a forty five. Ethan knew deep down that he would sometime win a fight, but no one else believed in him because everyone thought he was a raging redneck.

About three miles away, Erie’s thug, Caden Swift (or C-Swizzle), was the complete opposite of Ethan. He hated rednecks, but he did love to fight. He always lost his fights as well as Ethan. Both Caden and Ethan wanted to see if they could win a fight, but odds were very slim for that wish. That's when it all happened.

Caden was driving around town as well, looking for a fight. Caden decided to blow off a stop sign. He could've swore he was color blind, so he couldn't read what the sign said, good excuse Caden! Can you guess who hit Caden? Ethan Terry. This is when the fight of century started.

“Wat ‘n tarnation were you thinkin?!?” Ethan screamed.

“I’m above the law,” replied Caden.

Then the cops showed up and the both ran as fast as they could away from the scene. To be honest, they are both super slow but that’s beyond the point. Somehow, “running” in the long and barren streets of Erie, they met up again and started to brawl. A lot of screaming, scratching, and biting took place before they really got into it. Unfortunately for Ethan, he didn’t have his stick of dynamite and forty five. Right about in the middle of the fight, Ethan RKO'd Caden right into the ground. This didn’t even fade Caden. He started to tickle Ethan and the only defense Ethan had was to go into the fetal position, which didn’t help much. He was doing the “fish out of water” act when he finally grabbed Caden’s hands and threw him hard on the ground. Ethan picked up the folding metal chair, that for some reason was leaned upon the closest tree, and smacked Caden in the abdomen with the chair. Ethan continued to beat on Caden, performing great moves such as the frog splash, batista bomb, pedigree, and topped the fight off with the greatest move known to mankind, the Steiner Recliner!  

Caden reluctantly ran away from Ethan, and the both of them knew the fight was over. Ethan won! He finally won a fight without his stick of dynamite and forty five. 

On the way home, Ethan was strolling along, feeling great about himself. He was struggling with the decision to go eat or to go brag about his W to the rest of his friends. Since he had no friends, he went to get a bite to eat.

After ordering his food, Ethan was drinking his water waiting for his food, when all the sudden the police came in the restaurant and violently handcuffed Ethan.

“Why don’t you have car insurance!” they screamed at him. 

 Ethan was freaking out, and tried to explain the he was going to get it and that it wasn’t his fault. No one believed him, so Ethan was put in jail. No bail or anything of the sort. And even now, Ethan is still in jail, and probably won’t ever get out. So Caden ended getting the last laugh.